Sunday, December 9, 2012

Almost 1/12 of the Way There...

I'm aware that I've pretty much neglected this blog since school started...I can't even remember what my last blog post was about.  But, I wanted to quickly check in because I'm coming up to my first finals week, ever, of medical school.  The past quarter hasn't quickly gone as fast as I would like.  We started school three weeks before eveyone else and we are on our 14th week of school now.  That's almost 1.5x as long as a normal quarter, which is grueling, to say the least.

I'm really excited for the holiday break and I'm hoping to write a little more then.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Eating Goldfish

I'm eating some goldfish crackers as I type this post.  Goldfish crackers always remind me of my childhood, especially when we lived in our old house.  I've been thinking a lot about my childhood and growing up lately.  I see my nephew and niece (ages 11 and 10) and I'm trying to remember what it was like then.   I can't remember as much as I would like...so I guess I'm trying to hold onto the goldfish cracker memories for as long as I can.

Another week of school has flown by.  I can't think of anything specific about this week that made it stand out.  It was pretty typical, as in similar to college.  Except, I had seven classes with no structured schedule.  I also had my second patient interview this week and it was with a standardized patient.  That experience was pretty cool because the standard patients are trained to give you feedback after you stimulate the interview.  Some positive feedback that I'm really proud about is that I (apparently) have really good interpersonal skills when it comes to talking with patients.  Some things that I need to work on are organization and verbal empathy. 

My standardized patient and I discussed the two forms of empathy that a physician can provide a patient during a visit.  Empathy in a clinical setting can be embodied through body language and through words (verbally).  My body language empathy was all there but I was encouraged to speak more empathetically with my future patients.

I enjoyed the standardized patient interview greatly because it's a reminder of what I have to look forward to after two years of hitting the books.

Other than school work, my life has been going fairly well.  Tomorrow I'm running a 10k!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Update on Medical School

Hello, I've just finished my fifth week of medical school!  That means that anatomy and embryology is all done...and that I've successfully passed the course.

Anatomy itself was very difficult.  Emotionally and physically.  The first day I met my cadaver, I didn't know what to expect...especially since I didn't realize I'd be meeting my cadaver before school even began.  It was kind of a shock. 

The first day of school involved a quiz and dissection lab.  Over the course of the first week of school, I had two quizzes and my first exam (on the thorax).  The pace continued through weeks two and three with head and neck (the most difficult material), and slowed a bit down during the fourth week while we worked on the abdomen.  There were countless hours of trying to figure out embryology, dissecting away fat, searching for nerves, and peeking around for arteries and veins in the cadaver.  I greatly enjoyed working with my lab mates: E, B, and T.  I am really surprised by the strong friendships we formed during our anatomy run.

I feel really fortunate that people donate their bodies to science--especially grateful to those that donate their bodies for anatomy courses.  It's something that I've considered, instead of being an organ donor.  As an organ donor, you could probably help two or three lives.  But as a cadaver donor, you could be teaching four future doctors about the body and who knows how many lives will be saved at their hands.

Since Monday, I've switched over to a somewhat normal academic life.  Instead of anatomy and ICM, I'm now taking ICM, SHB, MIDM, histology, biochemistry, medicine as culture (non-clinical selective course), and preceptoring.  So far, it's been a little tough to keep my classes organized, but it's coming along and I don't feel quite as stressed as I did in anatomy.

This weekend, I'm back home with my parents.  We had a lot of fun shopping and we went out for Chinese food for dinner.  It was kind of amazing.  I'm glad I came home and I feel really loved (and not just because of the presents my parents gave me.)  I also got to catch up with my cousin and we talked out some of our personal lives together.  Tomorrow I'm vising my brother and his family.  I'm also hoping to catch up with a few friends over the phone.  Last night and this morning, I hung out with R and it was amazing.  We learned how to dougie and I refined my cat daddy skills :)

I don't know when I'll be able to write again, but I'm hoping that it will be sometime soon.  Bye!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Week Four Update

It's crazy to see how fast these weeks pass by.  This week there have been some ups and downs.  The "up" being that I ran 24 miles total!  The "down" being that I have definitely been "binge snack eating."  I've been eating healthy/good food--lots of fruits, vegetables, and non-processed/I prepared it from scratch things--but I'm still eating some junk food at work every now and then.  I really want to work on the bad food part of my lifestyle, so I think that that will be what I focus on this week, instead of mileage.

Until next time,

S

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Week Two and Three Updates

Hey friends,

I was a little busy last week so I wasn't able to provide an update on how my healthy lifestyle regimen was coming along.  From what I remember, I was only able to run 14 miles but I committed to steering away from sweets and junk food at work. 

This week, I finally achieved 21 miles.  However, inverse to my progress from week two, I have definitely consumed an unhealthy share of junk food at work.  I've had nachos, chips, Cheezits, peanut M&Ms, etc.  I'm not very pleased with myself and I know that once you get off the wagon, you stay off until you grow sick with yourself...sometimes that takes weeks.  But my recognizing that I've made poor choices this week, I think I can make a fast turnaround. 

It's Sunday again.  The re-start of my week.  I am working the last half of eight straight days of work, so the opportunity to partake in unhealthy habits is great.  There's also very little "good" food at home right now, so whatever I bring to work...it won't be as "great" a junk food.  I'm planning on taking a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up some healthy food.  Hopefully it will steer me away from anything bad at work.

As for running, I'm on a three-day hiatus right now.  It's raining pretty hard and the gym doesn't open up until noon.  I work early afternoon, so I won't have enough time to get any cardio in, so I will make an attempt to run or work out tomorrow.  Until next week, adios!

S

Monday, June 18, 2012

Week One -- Update on Healthy Living

It's been about a week since I decided that I would make some changes in my diet and lifestyle.  I purposely was vague in my last post because I wasn't sure what changes I would make.  It looks like I committed to two different lifestyle changes to support my "healthy living"  recently.  I plan to continue these changes this week, and that is my week two goal.

The first change that I made was to cut out unplanned snacks at work.  Certain people are well known for bringing in food to share at work.  Some bring Krispy Kremes, cupcakes, cookies, chips and dip, etc.  For the past week, I passed on all of the unplanned snacks by making sure that I prepared my own meals and snacks--like health-conscious sandwiches, fruit smoothies, fruits and veggies, etc.  By making sure that I don't go hungry/starve while I work, I am more likely to forget and pass on the junk food available.  In the long run, I'll be able to cut out unnecessary calories and fat, which will make me feel better both mentally and physically.

The second improvement I made this week was committing to a more consistent cardio work out.  I really wanted to run 21+ miles last week, but I only ended up running 15+ miles.  During my last run some environmental factors (read: a small, yappy dog and 50-some small elementary children) got in my way/running path, keeping me from running the last six miles I needed to reach my goal.  Initially, I was really upset that my cardio work out had been foiled, but I decided that I can try to reach my goal again this week.  I want to hit 15 miles again this week, and if it's feasible, I want to reach 21 miles.  I'm running every other day right now and it's helping me sleep and I can see the changes in my body.  They're small, but they're there, and I'm happy with that.

Overall, I'm pretty pleased with myself with how I'm slowly turning my crappy eating habits around.  I don't want to add too many changes this week and get discouraged.  So for week two I'm going to continue skipping the junk food at work and continuing with my current cardio work out plan :)  I'll provide an update next week on how things are looking.

S


Sunday, June 10, 2012

Blah

I've neglected writing in this blog for a little bit.  I have a few updates on my cousin and updates on myself.

My cousin was discharged from the hospital six days ago and he is doing well right now.  It took him a few days, but he's able to get up and down the stairs now (quickly nonetheless).  Today we had a surprise birthday party for him (and my dad) and it was fun.  I don't think it was really a surprise--I'm 99% positive my aunt told him in advance that we were coming...We made a lot of food, ate a lot of food, talked, ate cupcakes, and just sat around. 

To be honest, all this family closeness has slowly been getting on my nerves.  I've been experiencing a lot of difficulty with the responsibility over my cousin's medical care, finances transportation, translation, and disability claim.  It's getting really stressful and I'm getting pretty grouchy :-\

To deal with my new responsibility, I've been "stress eating."  I'm really ashamed of admitting this, but I've been so unhealthy the past two weeks.  And of course, once you get into unhealthy habits, it's hard to get out of them.  So, I've decided that I'm going to change up how I've been living.  It's not going to be a huge change, but I think I need a little more organization in my life.  I'm working on creating better meal schedules because it gets hectic with the hours that I work.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Update on My Cousin

The last time I posted, I think my cousin was getting ready to be discharged from the hospital soon.  Unfortunately the day before he was discharged, his doctors decided that outpatient therapy for his pelvic drain might not be sufficient for his specific condition.  They contemplated over surgery and felt like the benefits of removing a part of his large intestine and colon outweighed the complications associated with surgery.

It was heartbreaking to see my cousin that morning when he received the news that he would not be leaving the hospital.  He had obvious signs of anxiety over everything and it was definitely morale crushing for him and all of us.  After the general surgeon explained the surgery and what we could expect, my cousin agreed to surgery.  It was a difficult decision for him, in many ways.  In the culture and environment we were brought up in, surgery is always a bad thing.  Surgery pretty much has the connotation of death.  But my cousin eventually decided to have the surgery because many of his doctors had the sentiment that if he didn't have the surgery now, he would need it in the end at some point in his life.  He just wanted to get all of this over with.

I was happy with his decision because I felt like the (many) pros outweighed the cons.  The surgeon would be able to remove the "bad" piece of his intestines and colon and examine the rest of his intestines, in-person.  Also, the infected and inflamed area is going to be sent to pathology for a full work up.  This way we can determine if my cousin really has Crohn's, TB, or anything else.  It will put all of us at ease and help us to better understand his condition and how we can prevent something similar in the future.

Anyways, my cousin had the surgery yesterday morning and although the general surgeon expected many complications with his surgery, she finished the surgery pretty quickly.  In about an hour and a half, she removed a few inches from my cousin's large intestines and colon, and re-sectioned everything together!  He recovered well post-surgery yesterday and today he began to fart!  Farting is a great sign because it shows that his bowels are working and that everything was connected well.  Apparently everything so far is working together in his belly.

Even though he's progressing as expected, his fever returned tonight and I'm worried what that could mean.  I've been reading up on post-operative fevers and I really hope he doesn't have another infection brewing in a different system of his body.

I'm going back early tomorrow morning to observe him and to see if I can talk to his doctors.  I've been spending a lot of time at his hospital, everyday...and it kind of blows because when I'm not at the hospital I'm at the emergency room, working.  I feel bad for complaining, but I'm really worn down right now.  I just want him to get better and be happy, so we can all be happy.

S

"Give Your Heart a Break" -- Demi Lovato

Monday, May 21, 2012

Real Life, Real Things

Hey,

I've been gone a little while from this blog.  I'm actually supposed to be in China right now, but I'm not.  This return is supposed to be therapeutic for me. 

The past week and a half has been really stressful for me and my family. A week and a half ago my cousin was hospitalized for a pelvic abscess.  He had an unrelenting fever when he checked into the emergency room and was septic with a white blood cell count under 300.  He was recently diagnosed with Crohn's and had also been taking immunosuppresants, making his condition even more serious.  A few days after being hospitalized, he had a minor procedure to drain his abscess.  An hour post-surgery though, my cousin became septic again, and things took a turn for the worse.  This all happened the day before my trip to China, so naturally my parents and I decided to skip our trip to stay with my cousin.

His surgery was exactly one week ago, and since then, I keep thinking about that hour post-surgery.  Before then, I had always felt fortunate enough to never have experienced a loss of a friend or family member.  I have experienced grief and grieved, but never grieved over the loss of a person.  Last week, I had never been so close to losing a loved one, and I don't know where I would be right now mentally and emotionally if that had actually happened. 

The medical staff was able to stabilize and "revive" (too strong of a word?) my cousin and he was moved to the ICU after he became septic.  He spent two days in the ICU and then two days in the PCU.  Now he's in a general bed and doing much better than he was one week ago.  His blood cell count and blood chemistry have s improved and his body is working really hard to help him heal. 

I'm so proud of how hard my cousin has fought and is fighting to stay alive and strong.  After being moved to the ICU, he had a few frustrating days, where things only seemed to be getting worse.  But he toughed it out and things slowly became better.  Now he's working on walking with a walker and he's learning to become mobile again.  The improvement he has had over the past four days has been emotionally uplifting, especially since my recent happiness hinges only my cousin's success.

It's experiences like these that make you reflect on how lucky you are, or that we are.  I can get up every day on my own, use the bathroom, eat, make my own food, and pretty much do whatever I want, however I want, when I want.  But because the world works in mysterious ways, some people don't have the ability, or lose the ability to do as they please, to walk on their own, to breathe on their own, or to live their life to the fullest.

Walking around the hospital, in the ICU, PCU, and general surgery floor...and seeing my cousin improve with the supportive care he's received, I've come to appreciate medicine even more. Our bodies do all sorts of messed up shit, but to see a handful of doctors rally around my cousin and work together to support him, medically/physically, makes me even more excited about who I will be able to help and what I will be able to accomplish in the future.

From everything that's happened, I've learned that life is fickle.  I want to live life without regrets.  I've thought about this somewhat recently, but only in the past week have I've been encouraged to live life actively.  Don't sit back and let life pass you by.  Work towards your goals, so you'll never have to wonder, what if?

S

Music: "Titanium" -- David Guetta featuring Sia

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Las Vegas (Part Three)

Our third and last day of Las Vegas happened to be Easter.  For the longest time that morning, I was unsure how I felt about small girls wearing what I thought were playboy bunny ears.  But then I realized that the ears were for Easter, not something scandalous like the Playboy Club.

We quickly took a cab to the Wynn hotel after breakfast and had the opportunity to see the luxurious side of Las Vegas.  The hotels were super magnificent and swanky with loads and loads for luxury shops.  We even passed by a Longchamp boutique and I was dying to go in.  The Nordstrom's near where I live no longer carries Longchamp's bags, and I want one for school!

Anyways, lots of picture taking happened this day.  It's funny because that day we were dressed the most casual we had been the entire trip, but we were in the fanciest hotels on The Strip. We walked and walked down the strip and finally returned to the Luxor after a few hours.  I felt very accomplished that day because we had pretty much walked the entire strip and found souvenirs too!  (There is a store called the ABC store, which I swear has the best [read: cheapest] Vegas souvenirs.)

We got our last drinks at the Luxor and gambled for the last time.  Then we hopped in a Taxi, and said good bye to Las Vegas.  Our trip to the airport was probably our most amusing taxi ride because our taxi driver had a lot of character and wit.  It was a good way to end things.

We flew home with a stop in Oakland and a minor league baseball team joined us. They were funny.  When I got home, I felt so tired.  I took a hot bath to scrub off all of the Las Vegas dirt on my feet and found it relatively easy to doze off to sleep.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Las Vegas (Part Two)

After an interesting long first day in Las Vegas, it was nice to sleep a whole night before hitting up The Strip again.  One of the first things we did on our second day was go on the New York New York hotel's roller coaster!  I hadn't been to a theme park or on a roller coaster in 4+ years, so I was (I think) understandably anxious waiting in line for the ride.  Thankfully my friends and I discussed all of the safety measures roller coaster designers take into account to make sure the riders don't fall out of the ride :)  I think that falling out of a ride scares me more than the actual "drop" or "height" aspect of the roller coaster.

The roller coaster was outdoors and it was so sunny when we got on it--not too hot, just perfect!  My friend got a great view of The Strip and the land surrounding it but I could only focus on was how high we were going up (the first drop is the biggest right?).  It's funny, the only thing I can remember about that ride going up was looking at the hotel and seeing the reflection of our cart moving upwards.  (Un)fortunately, I was seated in the middle of the cart, so I couldn't actually see the loops or corkscrews that were coming up.  The ride was long and pretty much amazing.  I would definitely suggest it to any thrill seeker who is going to Las Vegas.  The line to the ride was short and if you're in line with friends/family, it goes pretty quickly.  Also, I remember the ride being less than $20, which is so cheap in comparison to all the other activities in Las Vegas.

After the ride, we continued walking north.  We didn't really walk too far beyond where we walked on our first day, but we did get to make it into Caesar's Palace.  This was definitely one of my favorite hotels.  Also, it doesn't hurt that as we were walking into the hotel to look around, a promoter for Pure, the night club at Caesar's Palace, asked us if we wanted to get on the VIP list.  I had heard great things about Pure, so I was very excited about getting on the VIP list :)

Our feet were becoming uncomfortable again, so after walking around and looking at Caesar's Palace, we returned back to the Luxor so we could spend some time by the pool.  Fortunately, our second day by the pool was much warmer, so I was able to get most of my body in the pool.  My feet felt so much better after being in the water and I'm so glad we made time for the pool.

Later that day, we got dressed up and took the tram to Mandalay Bay.  We ate at Lupo, a Wolfgang Puck restaurant.  It was probably the fanciest (read: pretentious) restaurant I've ever been to.  In fact, when I ordered the merlot and our waiter served me a bit of it in my glass to taste...I had no clue that I was indeed supposed to sip the wine beforehand and "accept" it prior to him serving me the rest of my wine.  Awkward.  I'm glad though that our waiter got the hint that we were four pretty casual girls, so he really warmed up to us and he ended up being a pretty cool guy (not as pretentious as I thought he was).  Oh!  And since it was one of my friends' birthday, we got some dessert, on the house!  It was delish!

Although our dinner was spectacular, we had to rush through it to make our Ka show at the MGM Grand.  We quickly walked back over the tram (after having shoveled a large amount of food into our bellies) and walked at a break neck pace over to the MGM Grand to get our tickets at will call.  Fortunately we made it in time, but I discovered during the show that I really don't like the dark or people in costumes.  This fear preoccupied my mind for most of the show...

The show itself was pretty cool though and there were parts that I thought were funny and cute.  I was glad to get out of the dark though at the end.  When the show ended, our group parted ways.  Half of us went gambling and the other half of us went to Pure.

...I went to Pure.

When we got in line to Pure, it was already pretty late...so we unfortunately didn't make it into the club until after midnight, so we weren't able to get any free drinks.  But the music was amazing at Pure, the people were cool, and the place looked so much better than The Bank.  My friend and I were able to dance without too many creepers and Darth Vader and a storm trooper even made an appearance while we were there!!  It was probably the best part of the night for me....oh!  And there was confetti everywhere :)  It was a great night out!!

We returned back to the Luxor, and we continued the night by sneakily crawling up the side ramp of the hotel to get a picture of the sphinx.  The main entrance was closed, so we found a detour!  Then we went gambling for a bit and I continued to lose money, so we returned back to our hotel room and called it a night.

Now that I've typed all of that up, I've come to realize that WOW, that was such an eventful day!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Las Vegas or Bust! (Part One)

Hey,

I just returned from a three-day Las Vegas trip a few days ago.  I went with three friends and I, for one, had a blast!

When we first arrived to Vegas, it was about 60 degrees and there was so much sun!  The weather felt very Spring-ish and I think it was the perfect way to ease us into what we had in store for the rest of our trip. 

Day One: 
After having an interesting conversation with our taxi driver, we went to the More Buffet at the Luxor, where we were staying.  We ended up gambling a little after lunch and it was my first ever experience at a slot machine.  I had some difficulty understanding and using the slot machines at first, but after watching my friends play for a while, I got the hang of it.  All I played were the penny slots, so I didn't lose more than $2 that day.

When we were done checking in, we found ourselves in one of the Luxor's well-known "slanted" elevators.  The shaking elevator doors were definitely not comforting as we ascended to the 13th floor of the hotel to our room. Our view from our floor was pretty cool and I'm still in awe about how the Luxor is built to cancel out the noise from the public areas of the hotel. 

After changing into my comfortable clothes, we went to get one of those large frozen (and sugary) drinks in the lobby and started our walk up The Strip. It was so cool walking into the different themed hotels.  Everything was so big and flashy, I loved it!  We walked all the way north to the Bellagio, where we watched two great Bellagio water fountain shows!  I think that those performances were the best part of my first day in Las Vegas.

We got tired of walking and our feet were dying by the time of the show, so we walked back to our hotel.  Some of us napped and the rest of us went down the pool.  One slightly disappointing thing about the trip was that the water in the hotel's pool was ridiculously cold.  Even with really hot weather, I'm not really sure I'd be able to fully submerge my entire body in the pool.  The pool layout was nice though, there were multiple, sectioned-off pools and lots of (free) chairs for guests to use. The water was great though for cooling off our feet and improving our aches and pains.

As night approached, we changed into our dressy nightwear and dolled up.  We went over to the MGM Grand and ate dinner at the Rainforest Cafe.  I got some nachos, which are my favorite food in the world, and my mood and energy was immediately uplifted.  The crazy moving animals around the restaurant were also awesome, but I'm so glad that we weren't seated anywhere near the crazy gorilla.

Earlier in the day, we had been contacted by a club promoter for The Bank (at the Bellagio) and we were able to get on the VIP list there for free.  So after dinner, we took a taxi from the Luxor to the Bellagio so we could dance the night away.  Too bad that cab drive was the worst drive ever and I never want to be stuck in a vehicle on the strip (at night) ever again.  When we entered the Bellagio, we were quickly greeted by more club promoters and found the line to The Bank.  Seeing the other girls in the VIP line put me at ease...they were dressed similarly and were probably just as casual in nature as we were.

To get into The Bank, you have to take an escalator up to the club area.  It's kind of cool because you're going up in the dark and you walk into this area and immediately see this descended dance floor.  On both sides, the dance floor is saddled by bars.  We got to The Bank early (like 11p), so there weren't that many people inside.  But by midnight, the floor was full of people, but no one was actually dancing...or even swaying.  The music was all right, but not amazing.  I didn't know a ton of the techno songs at the beginning...but towards midnight more top 40 songs were playing that I knew.

The best part of the night was seeing the presentation of this one type of alcohol.  Two bartenders would carry it out in this plastic, lit up diamond and some dancers would have these fire thing-a-ma-jigs and dance around the guys holding the bottle.  It was definitely a great show for a bottle...but it probably cost a lot.

Around midnight, we decided to call it a night and returned back to the Luxor.  Personally, I was a little disappointed by the club.  I was expecting a lot more: better ambiance, better music, more dancing...just a better club vibe.  I went home tired and not completely sure that I wanted to go out clubbing again the next night.  The only issue was that I felt like the dance-bug in me wasn't satisfied yet. 

Back at the hotel, things got a little more interesting with the help of vodka.  We went to bed around 1a and in all, our night ended a high note, after the disappointing time at The Bank.

More about my trip later. 

S

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Endorphinated

I worked out a couple of hours ago and I'm pretty sure I'm still feeling the post-work out endorphins.  Normally when I feel like this, I really want to be social and interact with people.  However, I'm really not in the position to do that right now because I'm alone and the four people I just called are out at dinner.  I'm taking that as a sign to do something by myself that will also satisfy my urge to communicate and interact with others.  That's why after my fourth failed call, I navigated my web browser to Blogger.com.

I don't really have much to talk about or a specific topic, so we'll see where this post goes.

I guess one thing that I can talk about is my attempt at trying to live a healthy and wholesome life(style).  One of my goals right now is to try to establish a pattern for myself (in terms of exercising, eating, socializing, etc.) that doesn't result in me experiencing these high and low waves of emotions and stress.  It's hard to explain, but it's really difficult for me to realize when I'm starting to "downward spiral."  It's very easy for me to hit a high or a low, and I think that I'd be much happier if I was just a "happy medium."

One thing that I think that I can do to address this issue is to have more routine in my life.  I used to be very regimented, but since graduating college, I've kind of let that all go (I say this with a big grin on my face).  I have some friends that argue that this, this is the time to bum around.  But there's that little communist solider in me that wishes I would just wake up the first time my alarm goes off, not two hours after the fact.  Truth is, my days are long and my days are short, depending on work.  But I can't always use work as an excuse.  I love waking up early (8-9a) and having the rest of the day be mine.  Whenever I sleep in until noon, I feel like I've lost an entire day of my life where I could have been productive, or had a day to relax.  In all, I just need more routine in my life.

Routine can be healthy.  Exercising can also be healthy.  And I'm glad, because I enjoy exercising.  I don't talk about this a lot to people who aren't my closest friends, but I had a lot self-esteem/body conscious/weight issues in college that have carried over into my gap year.  To put it briefly (as I'm cringing as I type this), the Freshman Fifteen ain't no lie.  In my case it was the Freshman Fifteen plus Five.  But with a lot of good lifestyle adjustments, I lost all of that weight over a four to five month period after my freshman year (THANK YOU JESUS).  My weight and self-esteem have an inverse relationship, and just until recently I've been able to manage both entities.  I'd say right the two are at an equilibrium, and I'm working really hard to keep it that way.  Which means that I'm going to need to stick to working out regularly...

I've come full circle now in this post, but I don't know how to end it now!  I guess I can say that this post was kind of relaxing and fun to write.  I wrote a lot more than I expected, so now it's time for me to watch some Netflix.

Bye

S

Hopefully a Strong Return to Blogging!

I just revamped the blog: new font, new colors, new background, etc.  I think that in all, it reflects a happier side of me, rather than a melancholy one.  My previous blog background (the weird wrapped roses) felt a little too generic and I thought that I was digging a little too deep for the artsy fartsy me...which is a piece of me that exists in a very small way.

I also spruced up the blog by removing some old posts--mainly sad ones.  I couldn't even make myself read those past posts where I talked about going in and out of a mild depression.  That "me" happens when I'm most vulnerable and in retrospect, I'm not really comfortable exposing that side of myself, at the moment...on this blog...even though I'm pretty sure no one ever reads this...especially since this blog is more of a therapeutic means for me.  I have absolutely no target audience...or audience, in general.

Lastly, I come back to the blog as a changed person.  On December 9th, I interviewed at my top choice medical school and on February 1st, I was offered a spot in the incoming 2012 class.  I'm so grateful, happy, and completely blown away by this accomplishment.  Although a lot of people (my big support network) came out of the wood works and commented on this amazing news as being nothing out of the ordinary for me, I have to say, I'm so surprised and incredibly happy with this outcome and finally feel at peace with myself.  I'd like to blog about this more, but I'm not in the mood for a super long detailed post, at the moment.

To round this post off, I'm trying to set some new goals for myself, in terms of blogging.
-I want to blog more, as much as possible.  I am a truly sentimental person and I don't want to forget my experiences, good or bad.
-And on that note, I need to refrain from deleting posts.  Sometimes when I re-read what I've written a few weeks post-post, I cringe and feel so awkward.  But I think I just need to embrace that feeling.  I can't change what I felt in the past, so there's no reason for me to hide it, or erase any evidence of it. 

That's it!

Adios,

S