Tomorrow I'm entering week three of the winter quarter and I already feel incredibly stressed and pressured to get a lot of things done at school. This isn't exactly a rare feeling, nor is it really unique. Every time school starts, after a break, or the weekend, it feels like we're hitting the ground running, and when we stop to take a break for water, it's like drinking out of a fire hose.
A lot of developments have happened in my life, professionally and personally in the past three or four months. Pretty much as medical school started, a zillion other things began. Some on purpose, and some were completely coincidental.
Something that I don't talk very much about in person, is the fact that I'm currently working through a lot of family issues right now...Underlying tension that has been around since I was a teenager, that has really impacted my decisions and goals in life. I'm working to come to terms with these experiences and soon, I think that I will be able to interact with my family in a way that I share the feelings that I've bottled up inside for so long. I'm really proud of myself for getting to this point because I never thought I'd find a way to express how I feel. But week by week, I work closer and closer towards finding acceptance, working on forgiveness, and understanding how my experiences have shaped me as a person.
I wanted to take a few minutes to document (vaguely) about what I'm going through. This is perhaps the biggest personal struggle I've encountered. I've learned that communication, emoting, and finding a support system to be your outlet is important, so I think I've subconsciously worked on all of these "traits" (for lack of a better word) for the past few years. Jumping (and maybe falling) over hurdles in life has taught me a lot about people, myself, and generally, life. I feel like I've grown a lot over the past few months, which is why I thought I'd take a few moments to remember this point in my life.
Anyways, it's time to study. Cell physiology exam tomorrow and it's time to shape up my ideas of what membrane potentials are.
